OP
OP
Oh... this one's bound to be real spicy. *cracks knuckles*
Chapter #4 - Destruction of Patience
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, last time on Order Destroyed, we got at least two new allies(?) and now we're just trying to gather ourselves before we move on.
The guys don't say anything too interesting, but we will take Freyja's offer to gather supplies before we leave.
Huh. There's a person that didn't get zombified for once.
(Also, god damn it, I wasn't expecting to break out the Clear Eye again because that's hideous.)
: "Johnny, is that you?! How are you, my boy?!"
Noah is just like "I think he's lost it". Either the zombie apocalypse broke him in the span of a few hours or his senility caught up to him. Whichever works the most.
We steal some loot and hopefully grandpa doesn't drop dead and become a zombie.
Moomoo Milks are easily the best healing item we'll get due to them healing 100 HP a pop. They're also extremely limited as these will be the only ones we'll be getting, so... yeah don't just chug them down.
Also, hello, I see you there.
Noah introduces himself, but the strange red clothed man says that we've already met his sister? Wait, is he talking about Jalice?
But I thought she said he was dead?
Oh my god, you're not even trying anymore.
Aizen? Are you actually being serious with me now? First the Persona plagiarism from before and now you're going to name him after Bleach's main villain? Not to mention, his dad was the same dude that we fought as the final boss of Dark Rising 1...
Gee, I wonder if he's evil.
Aizen (ugh) claims to have lost his magic and his Pokemon, but he still has the power to read memories... Yeah, don't buy this for a second.
He just... barges his way into our group for reasons that, at this point, should surprise nobody.
Talking to Aizen is required because he enables plot progression. Meanwhile, have a potion and an HP Up that won't really be useful to you. (Money is useless due to there being no shops, so...)
Now, the strangest thing happened while leaving the area. This Mareep is a Nonverbal NPC (you can at least expect them to go "baa") and seems to be out of place.
... But when I go back to check, they just disappear. Were they a ghost all along?
Back to adventure, I suppose. We're way more well stocked than before, so that just leaves me to imagine what we'll encounter here.
What's everyone standing around for? What crazy thing happened?
He's fuckin massive, mate.
What did Hoopa do to make themselves so huge? Come on, this is silly.
"I bet you weren't expecting to see me this early into the story."
Oh lord, it begins. (I will take the time to transcribe this dialogue, I guess.)
: "You're the one behind all of this!"
: "Were you surprised? Let me guess, you were expecting to confront me, I tell you the reason why I'm doing this, Noah will battle me, defeat me, save his friend Monica and then we have a happy ending!"
Yes. Annihilating the fourth wall won't save you.
: "Well... Nope! What's gonna happen is, I tell you what I want to tell you at my own pace and then, when I'm ready... I'll kill all of you. Actually, that is a happy ending. For me."
... I hate to admit it, but this isn't too far off from how I'd actually write Loki's character. :/
: "Let me ask you all something. If you all had the power to make the world precisely the way you want it, would you?"
Interesting question, but this is sort of made moot when you realize that after Order Destroyed ends, he more or less gets pushed aside by Madam Boss from Team Rocket. (An obscure reference, but still...)
So ultimately all of this heartbreak is sort of for nothing.
: "See, exactly! Now, don't think of me as a typical, lunatic bad guy with power. That's not me at all! I'm simply creating order... my order. All of you standing before me do not qualify to be part of the new world. My world."
That's... exactly what you are, though. You're a two dimensional villain that might as well have come from the Bargain Boss Bin (now 50% off on giant monsters!) with only meta humor being the thing that makes you slightly more interesting than say, Darugis from the first two games.
Freyja says she's going to kill him for being a psychotic troll, but Hoopa's just like:
: "Heh, yeah. I am a troll. I've trolled Noah's friend for a long time now! Heheh! Nice one?"
: "... How dare you... I'm ending this right now!"
Yes, Noah, do it. Kick him in the face.
... And he just leaves. Of course.
Oh well, at least we don't have to deal with him until later.
Hey, Freyja's just standing there with... another Mega Stone?
I'll be taking that, thank you.
Freyja wants to part ways because she has other people to help and she wants to give us a Mega Stone for our troubles.
She also mentions that the Machine is up north, but the building that houses it changes based on the person. Now, that definitely can't be ominous.
Eeeh. I don't count on it.
Bye Freya, you were... literally just some purple haired chick that doesn't matter.
But hey, at least there's a little bit of mercy going around.
Now that's a bad touch.
The evil zombie lass has an Illumise and Volbeat that Ignell chops up into bug soup. I kinda feel bad for these Pokemon, but they need to be put out of their misery.
... What in the world is that?
Well that's just plain bad.
He had a Crustle that (I think) used Shell Smash. That would have definitely put a cap in our ass, but Ignell just dusts them away before they could really do anything.
I don't think I would have been able to deal with that.
Oh wow, the Experience Share got to work! Ivan got to evolve and now he doesn't have that awful Thunder Fang anymore.
Volt Switch does work, but it's the only real electric move he has. We are also not going to use the Mega Stone on him because I'm saving it for later.
When the main villain invites you into his lair, things can only go so well.
So... this building is actually a Creature of Chaos in that it changes based on who sees it. Granny saw it as a mansion while Joel sees a childhood memory of his.
Aizen mentions that he can't read the memory of Pokemon and trying to read the Zygarde twins gives him a blank. HMMMM.
They can't see anything, so... what exactly are we walking into?
It... it's the power plant again. She seems to recycle certain places (the power plant and that one wrecked room) all the time for some reason I can't hope to comprehend.
They're creating brand new maps yet they're still using vanilla ones.
Solarbeam is... passable. What I'm more concerned with is that Rhyperior over there.
But hey, Julian got to evolve! Let's see what he can do against the Rhyperior.
... How about we don't take our chances?
This is so weird. Out of everything you expect the hulking rock monster to do... they throw ice at you. Like
They went down easy even with their tremendous advantage. That's like jumping out of a car at the end of the race and walking to the finish line.
But hey, I'm not complaining because we get Flamethrower.
You know, I'm gonna be honest - in a few minutes, I'll make it rain Rare Candies.
Ignell atomizes a Ferrothorn with his reclaimed Flamethrower. I swear they're one of the most unfortunate Pokemon I've ever met that isn't a member of the Weavile family.
... Oh, I see what we're doing.
Really? Though to be fair, if we knew they were secret agents, they wouldn't be so secret.
They have human skin for some reason despite having dark blue on the overworld. Believe it or not, this is on purpose because Hoopa's going to chastise you for fighting these guys.
They have easy Fletchinder that can't stand up to Ignell's moves, so at least they're not much of a hassle if you do run into them.
I just have to ask: What's with the Rhyperior? You can't catch them and all they really like to do is to spam Avalanche.
They're time-wasters at best, so... I don't understand. Maybe they're supposed to be training fodder for your Frogadier or something.
Speaking of which:
Oh wow, Loki showed up again. What's happening, my man?
(By the way, everyone's like "this is the final battle!!" even though this is nowhere near the end of the game.)
: "The envy consumes you. You're all just jealous of me."
Zyree: "What?!"
Zyree's reaction is pretty much mine, not gonna lie.
: "Because I am all of you, only the superior being! Order is mine, everything I want, I can make happen. Isn't that the dream of every human? To have the world exactly the way you want it? I have that power now and you are all jealous of me!"
*Deep sigh*
Our main villain, everyone: an annoying kid that got the Gen 3 hacking tools.
: "I'm tired of hearing your mouth already. Where's my friends?! What happened to Arceus?!"
: "Ah, I forgot you don't know the real story. By the way, contradiction much? You say you're tired of hearing my mouth, yet you ask me a question afterwards."
(Okay, I'll admit, that was a good burn.)
I feel bad for Hoopa because it doesn't deserve this. Not this little shit, the real Pokemon. Hell, Hoopa is one of my favorite legendaries from Gen 6 yet DRG turned him into this? What?
Hoopa/Loki says that Noah's friends are scattered across the world (somehow) and that... well, let's have his exact words:
"After finally achieving a plan that took me over a million years, I gotta tell'ya, Arceus doesn't exist anymore. The same applies to Darugis. I am in control of light and darkness, good and bad, I control everything now. I must give credit to your friend Monica, though. But do not fear! I will make a new world, where order is true and there is no good or bad, just perfection."
I have so many questions that I'm afraid I'll fill the page with them.
#1: Really?
#2: Darugis was a bad villain too.
#3: This little shit killed Arceus?
#4: Whatever. At this point, I'm numb.
Noah asks him what he means by all of this, although I don't expect a straight answer at all.
What Noah says is the most appropriate thing ever:
("... I still don't know what the heck is going on...")
Truthfully? I've never known what the hell's been going on in this series, I just document what I see and try not to go insane.
Loki disappears for the second time, so I can at least I can get a moment to think.
Anyway... you see this giant mechanical thing?
It's a giant PC, folks.
Yep, complete with glitch! (Although that's the fault of the glitchy tiles she used and not the Machine itself.) Now, here's the bit where it gets interesting.
The Machine is the only source of infinite healing in the hack, so you better get your top up now before you go on ahead.
I would also recommend against putting any Pokemon in here for reasons you'll see in a bit.
Anyway, this is where I go into full game breaker mode. I have completely stopped caring about being fair and now I'm taking this into my own hands.
One or two Master Balls, over 999+ rare candies... I plan on ripping this game into shreds as part of the final send off. Not only that, I still have a few other surprises in store for you guys.
Just watch.
Aizen says that we've really impressed him with how we've been doing so far and he urges that we should keep some Pokemon in the PC for later.
Noah agrees, but I'm a bit skeptical.
Let's leave Julian here for a bit just so I can demonstrate something.
Leaving the "Pokemon Center HQ" takes us out to this admittedly really nice-looking snow-covered area. (The name of the place is called Apache Mountain, which is like... whatever.)
Another one to add to the pile, but trust me when I say that even they have explanations.
Nah, we're going the full mile. We are reckless to a T.
Aizen: "Yes, Noah? An unexpected turn, hm?"
Oh come on, give your audience at least some credit.
Aizen mentions how he and Hoopa had a "mutual understanding" and that they've been working together.
: "Hey, Noah! Did you put any of your Pokemon inside the Machine?! It was all fake! Another part of my game... How long did it take you to realize you can't ever get back to The Machine? I created the place with my power! It is my world, you know?"
Yeah, the door behind us was locked. Goodbye Julian, you were a wonderful guinea pig.
"I should've never listened to you, Aizen!"
: "Well, your Scyther's dead now."
This causes Noah to go Super Saiyan out of rage.
: "... AIZEN!!! You'll pay for this with your own life. Let's battle!"
You're lookin... pretty good there.
His first Pokemon is a Conkeldurr that uses Mach Punch on a Flying type. And the Darwin Award goes to...
Yep. He's nowhere near as threatening as the Bleach Aizen, although that'd be a completely different story if it were him.
He also had a Drapion, but nobody cares.
Oh wow, that's actually a really good sprite for Clawitzer... Now, would you believe me that it's the most dangerous thing on his whole team?
Mega Launcher is an actual ability in this game and Clawitzer would hurt even without it, so... damn.
See this? This takes Ignell to half health even without it being super-effective. That's crazy.
Thankfully, Clawitzer has the speed of a shrimp holding a giant gun otherwise this would have been impossible.
His final Pokemon is a Mega Blaziken that... yeah, I don't think this match-up will ever end well for Blaziken even in the real games.
There's only so much Speed Boost can do against another Fire type.
Aizen: "Or am I?"
I hate it when villains pull out the "lol didn't count" card.
"NOT!"
Aizen: "Hoopa decides who lives and who doesn't. It is his world, after all."
Logically. Give me a few more chapters though and you'll regret saying that.
: "Noah, your friend defeated Darugis for me, I just guided Monica along the way with my bag of tricks! I bet you're wondering, where is the REAL Arceus? After a plan that took me millions of years to complete, I manage to trick the real Arceus and send him into oblivion! Then, it was only Darugis left."
(You can't hear it but I'm howling at my own reactions. I'm silly, alright.)
Hoopa goes on to say that Light and Monica had the most potential but he's still going to boil it down to "it was a game for me".
Then he goes "see ya" one more time and I want to strangle him.
You'd think that'd be the end of him, but...
He's in this house! This is like what, the fourth time we've seen him in one chapter?
Noah's mad about Aizen for "betraying" him even though it was the most telegraphed thing behind Granny being a cannibal.
: "Don't I at least get a clap for that genius set-up? It was perfect! Besides, I'm a generous troll. Didn't you grab any of the rare candies I placed around the areas? It can revive your Pokemon from the dead. Yeah, I know, it breaks the whole "If Pokemon faint, they die forever" thing I got going on. But hey, like I said, I'm a generous troll."
So... you knew this entire time that Rare Candies can act as revives?
I do have to admit if you aren't genre savvy, Hoopa might get you off guard. The Machine deal and how you can't go back could be a giant one-fingered salute to the player, but I still have a way around it.
: "... You don't care about anyone or anything but yourself. I will be the one to end your reign of terror, Hoopa. I can assure you of that."
Hell yeah.
Hoopa says that everything was fake and nobody was really a chosen one after all, which I guess is right if Arceus was really gone, but... eh.
He goes onto say that all of humanity are hypocrites because we praise Arceus when good things happen yet blame Darugis when bad things happen. I honestly don't see what the point is.
Noah wants to battle him, but for the fourth time in a row:
This is the most I've ever seen a villain run away from the main hero, especially if they're the core villain.
: "God, everything's hopeless. What am I going to do now?"
: "I suppose the only thing we can do is try to stop him, but..."
[A large shadow looms over Noah]
: "... Huh? What's that?!"
[Noah gazes into the sky and sees a giant red and black bird with a white Lucario riding on top. They descend to the ground]
[Hidden By Night]
: "Wh-whoa! Yveltal?! And you... aren't you one of Monica's Pokemon?"
: ("It really is you, Noah! Thank goodness we finally found you. It's me, Signe.")
: "Wow, you guys actually managed to make it out of the Omni Region? ... Where's everyone else?"
: ("We're not sure, but that doesn't matter now. You're our last hope - we need to band together and stop Loki before he ruins the world!")
: "Of course!"
: ("I brought some provisions before things got really bad and the Jewel of Life. Something tells me we'll be needing everything we have, so... make good use of them.")
: "The Jewel of Life?! But... what good will that d--."
: ("Noah.")
: "Y-yes, Yveltal?"
: ("Hmph. It's time you learned my real name. I am... Ragnarok. What that bastard child's doing is unacceptable - they're perverting the cycle of life and death. With that said, I want you to lead me again.")
(Ragnarok is the name of the great war that claims multiple gods in Norse Mythology, including Odin. I felt it would be appropriate for the death god of Pokemon to have that name.)
: "Wow... Yes, sir!"
Normally, trying to catch a Pokemon would lead to the game freezing because DRG did... something to the Pokedex. However, since I'm smarter than the average bear, I put in a "complete Pokedex" code to bypass the Pokedex entirely and fix that little bug.
So yeah, suck on that, Hoopa.
: "Why are we at the door? It's locked."
: ("... As I suspected, the little shit couldn't even be bothered to actually destroy anything.")
: "What?"
: ("Go through the door - you'll see what I mean.")
[Noah phases through the door]
: "Oh wow! We're back at the Machine? But I thought he said it was all fake?"
(Aka. I used walk through walls and DRG didn't remove the access point. Smooth.)
: ("Listen, Noah. I know Loki. He's a very bad liar. Sometimes he leaves his work half-finished, so stuff like this happens. We now have unlimited access to the PC and there's nothing he can do about it.")
: "Hahaha, oh my god. This is gonna be cathartic."
Oooooh, this is too good.
Signe is a series regular as far back as the Dark Rising 1 LP. Since Sigurd's dead, she's the best we have and honestly, having at least one of the Lucario Siblings is good enough for me. She has access to Aura Saber, Psychic and Void Bomb... so that's badass.
Ragnarok, on the other hand, is a Yveltal that Noah picked up in Dark Rising 2 but we would have never got to see him perform if I didn't hack him in. Since Dark Aura isn't a thing in this, he has Gale Wings instead... making him arguably even more overpowered than if he just had the other one.
Both of them are over level 50 (the highest normal Pokemon we'll see in this is around 40-ish) and hot damn I am proud to say that this game is almost completely brown bread.
Back to the guys, Joel is suffering. I would too if I didn't have clothes for the snow.
You have a dead Liepard here that's obviously a reference to the scene from Star Wars, but Noah can't bear skinning a cat.
If things were that dire, I wouldn't really hesitate.
I'm more than prepared, alright?
Noah says he needs a minute or two to rest before we move on and honestly, I can't really blame him after what just happened.
Zyro mentions how he's ready to beat Hoopa and reclaim his fate so him and his sister can finally be free, but he warns that a horde of zombies is coming towards us and that we gotta split.
Can't argue with that. But before we go...
Ragnarok has Oblivion Wing. Gale Wings gives it priority too, so...
Next time on Dark Rising: Order Destroyed, we start our death march through Hoopa's forces. See you then.
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Team setup:
A
means Mega-evolved.
(Ignell-
, level 39,
,
/
) - "Signe, my girl, I'm glad to see you alive! Let's show them why you don't mess with us, yes?"
(Signe, level 52,
,
/
) - "My thoughts exactly. But more importantly... Loki, I'm coming for you."
(Ragnarok, level 50,
,
/
) - "... Hello friends. Forgive me, I haven't had to properly introduce myself to a group of people in a long time. Mani's spoiled me that way."
(Umbra-
, level 25,
,
) - "Impressive. With your help, we can finally shut that brat up for good."
(Sapphire, level 24,
,
/
) - "A-aah. Hello, sir Ragnarok. How's Miss Mani...?"
(Ivan, level 24,
,
) - "He-hey, we got some new guys on the team! Welcome aboard, fellows."
(Rodrigo-
, level 27,
,
/
) - "Whoa! S-she's gorgeous..."
(Julian, level 29,
,
) - "Whooo... I was having a heart attack back there. Don't do that!"
Chapter #4 - Destruction of Patience
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So, last time on Order Destroyed, we got at least two new allies(?) and now we're just trying to gather ourselves before we move on.
The guys don't say anything too interesting, but we will take Freyja's offer to gather supplies before we leave.
Huh. There's a person that didn't get zombified for once.
(Also, god damn it, I wasn't expecting to break out the Clear Eye again because that's hideous.)
Noah is just like "I think he's lost it". Either the zombie apocalypse broke him in the span of a few hours or his senility caught up to him. Whichever works the most.
We steal some loot and hopefully grandpa doesn't drop dead and become a zombie.
Moomoo Milks are easily the best healing item we'll get due to them healing 100 HP a pop. They're also extremely limited as these will be the only ones we'll be getting, so... yeah don't just chug them down.
Also, hello, I see you there.
Noah introduces himself, but the strange red clothed man says that we've already met his sister? Wait, is he talking about Jalice?
But I thought she said he was dead?
Oh my god, you're not even trying anymore.
Aizen? Are you actually being serious with me now? First the Persona plagiarism from before and now you're going to name him after Bleach's main villain? Not to mention, his dad was the same dude that we fought as the final boss of Dark Rising 1...
Gee, I wonder if he's evil.
Aizen (ugh) claims to have lost his magic and his Pokemon, but he still has the power to read memories... Yeah, don't buy this for a second.
He just... barges his way into our group for reasons that, at this point, should surprise nobody.
Talking to Aizen is required because he enables plot progression. Meanwhile, have a potion and an HP Up that won't really be useful to you. (Money is useless due to there being no shops, so...)
Now, the strangest thing happened while leaving the area. This Mareep is a Nonverbal NPC (you can at least expect them to go "baa") and seems to be out of place.
... But when I go back to check, they just disappear. Were they a ghost all along?
Back to adventure, I suppose. We're way more well stocked than before, so that just leaves me to imagine what we'll encounter here.
What's everyone standing around for? What crazy thing happened?
He's fuckin massive, mate.
What did Hoopa do to make themselves so huge? Come on, this is silly.
"I bet you weren't expecting to see me this early into the story."
Oh lord, it begins. (I will take the time to transcribe this dialogue, I guess.)
Yes. Annihilating the fourth wall won't save you.
... I hate to admit it, but this isn't too far off from how I'd actually write Loki's character. :/
Interesting question, but this is sort of made moot when you realize that after Order Destroyed ends, he more or less gets pushed aside by Madam Boss from Team Rocket. (An obscure reference, but still...)
So ultimately all of this heartbreak is sort of for nothing.
That's... exactly what you are, though. You're a two dimensional villain that might as well have come from the Bargain Boss Bin (now 50% off on giant monsters!) with only meta humor being the thing that makes you slightly more interesting than say, Darugis from the first two games.
Freyja says she's going to kill him for being a psychotic troll, but Hoopa's just like:
Yes, Noah, do it. Kick him in the face.
... And he just leaves. Of course.
Oh well, at least we don't have to deal with him until later.
Hey, Freyja's just standing there with... another Mega Stone?
I'll be taking that, thank you.
Freyja wants to part ways because she has other people to help and she wants to give us a Mega Stone for our troubles.
She also mentions that the Machine is up north, but the building that houses it changes based on the person. Now, that definitely can't be ominous.
Eeeh. I don't count on it.
Bye Freya, you were... literally just some purple haired chick that doesn't matter.
But hey, at least there's a little bit of mercy going around.
Now that's a bad touch.
The evil zombie lass has an Illumise and Volbeat that Ignell chops up into bug soup. I kinda feel bad for these Pokemon, but they need to be put out of their misery.
... What in the world is that?
Well that's just plain bad.
He had a Crustle that (I think) used Shell Smash. That would have definitely put a cap in our ass, but Ignell just dusts them away before they could really do anything.
I don't think I would have been able to deal with that.
Oh wow, the Experience Share got to work! Ivan got to evolve and now he doesn't have that awful Thunder Fang anymore.
Volt Switch does work, but it's the only real electric move he has. We are also not going to use the Mega Stone on him because I'm saving it for later.
When the main villain invites you into his lair, things can only go so well.
So... this building is actually a Creature of Chaos in that it changes based on who sees it. Granny saw it as a mansion while Joel sees a childhood memory of his.
Aizen mentions that he can't read the memory of Pokemon and trying to read the Zygarde twins gives him a blank. HMMMM.
They can't see anything, so... what exactly are we walking into?
It... it's the power plant again. She seems to recycle certain places (the power plant and that one wrecked room) all the time for some reason I can't hope to comprehend.
They're creating brand new maps yet they're still using vanilla ones.
Solarbeam is... passable. What I'm more concerned with is that Rhyperior over there.
But hey, Julian got to evolve! Let's see what he can do against the Rhyperior.
... How about we don't take our chances?
This is so weird. Out of everything you expect the hulking rock monster to do... they throw ice at you. Like
They went down easy even with their tremendous advantage. That's like jumping out of a car at the end of the race and walking to the finish line.
But hey, I'm not complaining because we get Flamethrower.
You know, I'm gonna be honest - in a few minutes, I'll make it rain Rare Candies.
Ignell atomizes a Ferrothorn with his reclaimed Flamethrower. I swear they're one of the most unfortunate Pokemon I've ever met that isn't a member of the Weavile family.
... Oh, I see what we're doing.
Really? Though to be fair, if we knew they were secret agents, they wouldn't be so secret.
They have human skin for some reason despite having dark blue on the overworld. Believe it or not, this is on purpose because Hoopa's going to chastise you for fighting these guys.
They have easy Fletchinder that can't stand up to Ignell's moves, so at least they're not much of a hassle if you do run into them.
I just have to ask: What's with the Rhyperior? You can't catch them and all they really like to do is to spam Avalanche.
They're time-wasters at best, so... I don't understand. Maybe they're supposed to be training fodder for your Frogadier or something.
Speaking of which:
Oh wow, Loki showed up again. What's happening, my man?
(By the way, everyone's like "this is the final battle!!" even though this is nowhere near the end of the game.)
Zyree: "What?!"
Zyree's reaction is pretty much mine, not gonna lie.
*Deep sigh*
Our main villain, everyone: an annoying kid that got the Gen 3 hacking tools.
(Okay, I'll admit, that was a good burn.)
I feel bad for Hoopa because it doesn't deserve this. Not this little shit, the real Pokemon. Hell, Hoopa is one of my favorite legendaries from Gen 6 yet DRG turned him into this? What?
Hoopa/Loki says that Noah's friends are scattered across the world (somehow) and that... well, let's have his exact words:
"After finally achieving a plan that took me over a million years, I gotta tell'ya, Arceus doesn't exist anymore. The same applies to Darugis. I am in control of light and darkness, good and bad, I control everything now. I must give credit to your friend Monica, though. But do not fear! I will make a new world, where order is true and there is no good or bad, just perfection."
I have so many questions that I'm afraid I'll fill the page with them.
#1: Really?
#2: Darugis was a bad villain too.
#3: This little shit killed Arceus?
#4: Whatever. At this point, I'm numb.
Noah asks him what he means by all of this, although I don't expect a straight answer at all.
What Noah says is the most appropriate thing ever:
("... I still don't know what the heck is going on...")
Truthfully? I've never known what the hell's been going on in this series, I just document what I see and try not to go insane.
Loki disappears for the second time, so I can at least I can get a moment to think.
Anyway... you see this giant mechanical thing?
It's a giant PC, folks.
Yep, complete with glitch! (Although that's the fault of the glitchy tiles she used and not the Machine itself.) Now, here's the bit where it gets interesting.
The Machine is the only source of infinite healing in the hack, so you better get your top up now before you go on ahead.
I would also recommend against putting any Pokemon in here for reasons you'll see in a bit.
Anyway, this is where I go into full game breaker mode. I have completely stopped caring about being fair and now I'm taking this into my own hands.
One or two Master Balls, over 999+ rare candies... I plan on ripping this game into shreds as part of the final send off. Not only that, I still have a few other surprises in store for you guys.
Just watch.
Aizen says that we've really impressed him with how we've been doing so far and he urges that we should keep some Pokemon in the PC for later.
Noah agrees, but I'm a bit skeptical.
Let's leave Julian here for a bit just so I can demonstrate something.
Leaving the "Pokemon Center HQ" takes us out to this admittedly really nice-looking snow-covered area. (The name of the place is called Apache Mountain, which is like... whatever.)
Another one to add to the pile, but trust me when I say that even they have explanations.
Nah, we're going the full mile. We are reckless to a T.
Aizen: "Yes, Noah? An unexpected turn, hm?"
Oh come on, give your audience at least some credit.
Aizen mentions how he and Hoopa had a "mutual understanding" and that they've been working together.
Yeah, the door behind us was locked. Goodbye Julian, you were a wonderful guinea pig.
"I should've never listened to you, Aizen!"
This causes Noah to go Super Saiyan out of rage.
You're lookin... pretty good there.
His first Pokemon is a Conkeldurr that uses Mach Punch on a Flying type. And the Darwin Award goes to...
Yep. He's nowhere near as threatening as the Bleach Aizen, although that'd be a completely different story if it were him.
He also had a Drapion, but nobody cares.
Oh wow, that's actually a really good sprite for Clawitzer... Now, would you believe me that it's the most dangerous thing on his whole team?
Mega Launcher is an actual ability in this game and Clawitzer would hurt even without it, so... damn.
See this? This takes Ignell to half health even without it being super-effective. That's crazy.
Thankfully, Clawitzer has the speed of a shrimp holding a giant gun otherwise this would have been impossible.
His final Pokemon is a Mega Blaziken that... yeah, I don't think this match-up will ever end well for Blaziken even in the real games.
There's only so much Speed Boost can do against another Fire type.
Aizen: "Or am I?"
I hate it when villains pull out the "lol didn't count" card.
"NOT!"
Aizen: "Hoopa decides who lives and who doesn't. It is his world, after all."
Logically. Give me a few more chapters though and you'll regret saying that.
(You can't hear it but I'm howling at my own reactions. I'm silly, alright.)
Hoopa goes on to say that Light and Monica had the most potential but he's still going to boil it down to "it was a game for me".
Then he goes "see ya" one more time and I want to strangle him.
You'd think that'd be the end of him, but...
He's in this house! This is like what, the fourth time we've seen him in one chapter?
Noah's mad about Aizen for "betraying" him even though it was the most telegraphed thing behind Granny being a cannibal.
So... you knew this entire time that Rare Candies can act as revives?
I do have to admit if you aren't genre savvy, Hoopa might get you off guard. The Machine deal and how you can't go back could be a giant one-fingered salute to the player, but I still have a way around it.
Hell yeah.
Hoopa says that everything was fake and nobody was really a chosen one after all, which I guess is right if Arceus was really gone, but... eh.
He goes onto say that all of humanity are hypocrites because we praise Arceus when good things happen yet blame Darugis when bad things happen. I honestly don't see what the point is.
Noah wants to battle him, but for the fourth time in a row:
This is the most I've ever seen a villain run away from the main hero, especially if they're the core villain.
[A large shadow looms over Noah]
[Noah gazes into the sky and sees a giant red and black bird with a white Lucario riding on top. They descend to the ground]
[Hidden By Night]
(Ragnarok is the name of the great war that claims multiple gods in Norse Mythology, including Odin. I felt it would be appropriate for the death god of Pokemon to have that name.)
Normally, trying to catch a Pokemon would lead to the game freezing because DRG did... something to the Pokedex. However, since I'm smarter than the average bear, I put in a "complete Pokedex" code to bypass the Pokedex entirely and fix that little bug.
So yeah, suck on that, Hoopa.
[Noah phases through the door]
(Aka. I used walk through walls and DRG didn't remove the access point. Smooth.)
Oooooh, this is too good.
Signe is a series regular as far back as the Dark Rising 1 LP. Since Sigurd's dead, she's the best we have and honestly, having at least one of the Lucario Siblings is good enough for me. She has access to Aura Saber, Psychic and Void Bomb... so that's badass.
Ragnarok, on the other hand, is a Yveltal that Noah picked up in Dark Rising 2 but we would have never got to see him perform if I didn't hack him in. Since Dark Aura isn't a thing in this, he has Gale Wings instead... making him arguably even more overpowered than if he just had the other one.
Both of them are over level 50 (the highest normal Pokemon we'll see in this is around 40-ish) and hot damn I am proud to say that this game is almost completely brown bread.
Back to the guys, Joel is suffering. I would too if I didn't have clothes for the snow.
You have a dead Liepard here that's obviously a reference to the scene from Star Wars, but Noah can't bear skinning a cat.
If things were that dire, I wouldn't really hesitate.
I'm more than prepared, alright?
Noah says he needs a minute or two to rest before we move on and honestly, I can't really blame him after what just happened.
Zyro mentions how he's ready to beat Hoopa and reclaim his fate so him and his sister can finally be free, but he warns that a horde of zombies is coming towards us and that we gotta split.
Can't argue with that. But before we go...
Ragnarok has Oblivion Wing. Gale Wings gives it priority too, so...
Next time on Dark Rising: Order Destroyed, we start our death march through Hoopa's forces. See you then.
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Team setup:
A
